The Crazed Bakeneko and her Units!
by Myzamya12
Summary: Yes, another hetalia unit story, but these units' owner is a bit... different to say the least. She's a bakeneko, and if you don't know what that is GO GOOGLE IT! How will she handle all these new crazy units AND being a super cool supernatural at the same time. How can the countries handle HER? Why am I asking you all these questions? Did I mention this is my first fic?
1. Prologue

Let's get one thing straight before we start this totally true tale of my chaotic life with my new adopted family. I'm not human. No, I'm not crazy... that much. I'm not too sure what I exactly sure what I am, but I call myself a bakeneko. And for all those who aren't experts in Japanese mythology, we are normal cats that have lived over 100 that was given some wickedly awesome powers and some of them I don't even know how to use! I can walk into people's dreams which isn't always as cool as it sounds, shape shift into my human form (I like this form because it's easy to blend in when needed), and can summon some hell fire.

I've been told I'm a little childish that is, until I cut out their tongues ... I've also been told I'm a public danger, too. And that is why, my dear readers, I lived in my huge mansion (what? You get loaded after being alive for so long) in a thick and secluded forest with an ultra long driveway all by myself. It got kinda lonely up there, but I figured out early that "people" like me do best away from the "normal" people.

You wouldn't believe how boring my place got before internet! I never got computer because I always thought that it would eat my soul or something (don't ask), but finally, the boredom got the better of me. When I got my first laptop I instantly started looking for things to do which led me to anime. After the first week of the glorious discovery, I had watched all the episodes of Pandora Hearts, Shugo Chara, Skip Beat, and of course my life, Hetalia. Sure I liked the others, but there was just something about it that drew me into it. Maybe it was the humor, or the cute guys, or the history behind it, or maybe it was a SIGN! ... Nah, I'm not that superstitious.

So now that you got all the basics down let's get to the fun part!

Welcome to the story of the crazed bakeneko and her hectic Hetalia units!

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So... what ya think? I like it for my first post on here. I'm thinking of making this have chapters. I wonder which unit she'll get first? hmmmmmmmmm


	2. Chapter 1- The New Cat Toy!

**Chapter 1 – The New Cat Toy**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Hetalia which belongs to Himaruya, and manuals based off of LolliDictator. I do, however, own my oc Akemi!**

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One Friday October night I was sneaking out of my private woodlands behind my home. Finally making it to my front door, I notice a slip of paper sticking out. Someone must have came by when I was practicing my hand to hand combat in the woods with my handmade dummies.

"Neko, Akemi, you have a package awaiting you at your local post office," I read aloud. I giggled a little as I crumpled it up. It always gets me when people used my human name. I had to pick something appropriate right? Skipping inside to my bathroom I prepared to go out to town. Not bothering with my close cut raven hair that only was long enough to cover my right eye. No one can ever see that eye. EVER. After straightening up my Black Butler Grell t-shirt, I looked into the mirror one last time. A 114 year old girl who only seemed 14 looked back with two different colored eyes. I had one luminous green somewhat normal left eye, but a blazing amber cat slitted right eye. I quickly brush my bangs to cover it again. I must always try to keep it covered to prevent humans from becoming to nosy in my business.

An hour later I'm back home with a brand new package in my arms. I never understood why they would waste their time sending that stupid note to my doorstep if they could have just sent me the package while they were at it. Stupid humans are so silly. Plopping onto my bed I pull out my laptop. I ordered some new Hetalia DVDs last week, and I planned on spending the rest of the night watching them! What was more amusing than hilarious stereotypical countries and their cheeky antics. Yeah, I said it. I said cheeky antics. Sue me.

A flash of neon colors then sent me almost five feet in the air almost blinding my sensitive eyes.

"MY EYES! I'M BLIND! … okay, I'm fine!" I yelled. What is it? Putting on my totally kick butt sunglasses I read the colorful text. _"Congratulations! I've just won your own set of our Hetalia units. Click "Continue" to accept._" What's a 'unit'? Can I eat it? Well, anyway, nothing I can't handle! Besides it's probably just some new merchandise or something like that, and everyone knows you can't have too much Hetalia products! Clicking the big continue button I waited for it to ask my address, name, etc., but instead it only thanked me for my order, told me it'll be arriving in the morning, and closed itself out. Strange. As long as I get my stuff I guess it's okay though.

Eventually I got too tired to watch any more Hetalia, so yawning and rubbing my eyes I rested my head on my fluffy pillow and hugged my Russia plushie closer. I wish some things could always be like this. Calm and quiet.

**/The Next Morning/**

5 am I was rudely awoken by some idiot beating the crap out of my doorway. I swear I will tear out this imbecile's tongue out if he keeps hitting my door! And as if they actually heard my thoughts, the knocking suddenly stopped. Thank God.

**BRING, BRING, BRING, BRING!**

"AAAAHHHHHH! I SWEAR IF YOU RING THAT DAMN BELL _ONE_ MORE TIME, I WILL PUSH YOU DOWN A STAIR CASE MADE OF BROKEN GLASS WITH RUBBING ALCOHOL AT THE BOTTOM!" I screamed as I ran down stairs and pulling open the door. There stood a random guy with greasy old man hair and mustache. Ew.

"Sign this," he demanded shoving a pad and pen at my chest. It toke all my power not to rip that dirty old man's unibrow off, but I managed to sign it without any fuss.

"May I ask what I'm signing for?" I asked handing it back with maybe a little too much force. He only gestured to person sized box behind him, handed me a thick manual, and practically ran to his mint green truck. I couldn't hold in the laughter as he drove off. Must suck to drive around in a truck with flying mint bunny on it for a living. Pfffffffffffff, He probably deserved it that jerk.

Then I turned to the huge box. Is this the unit? I looked down at the manual. This will tell me what it is, right? Opening it up to the first page I hungrily read each word, eager to know what I won.

"**CONGRATULATIONS! **You have just purchased your very own ARTHUR KIRKLAND unit. This manual was written in order to ensure that you, the owner, can unlock your unit's full potential as a guardian, boyfriend, and/or pirate," I read aloud.. England! I nearly spazed out when I read that. I read more of the manual. I had to cover my nose to prevent a nosebleed when I read his "length." Either this person was a pervert or the owners _really _were perverts. Finally, I got to how to wake him up. Option one and five seemed too easy and boring while options two and four wouldn't do because I couldn't cook to save my life and I don't have those songs on my Ipod. Choice three it is!

I ran to my cellar and looked through my vast collection of vodka and imported German beer looking for some whiskey. What? I don't drink the stuff, but its a hobby. Oh well, where is that whiskey! After eventually finding two bottles I ran back to the large box blocking my front door. Standing a healthy distance away I clicked them together. Thankfully I hadn't been an inch closer or else I'd have been impaled with a large stake from the crate. Scrabbling out came the great United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland begging for the whiskey, and I happily gave it to him. In a matter of twenty seconds he had managed to chug down both of the bottles.

"So now that we got that out of the way," I say holding out my small hand with my best creeper smile, "Welcome to hell!"

"Pardon me, miss. I didn't quite catch that last part," he said a little flushed from the alcohol while he toke my hand in his and sloppily shook it.

"Don't worry about it. You, my good sir, may call my Akemi. Akemi Neko," I introduced myself. "How about I show you to your room. I'm sure you'd need to know where to pass out in when you're too hammered to stand," I nonchalantly say leading him up the long spiral stair. He too drunk to get up them without falling down and cracking his head open by himself and because I didn't want to loss my first toy yet. I decided to lock arms and go up together. Someone get a camera, I am in heaven!

"And this is your room!" I announced swinging open the door in a flourish revealing a British themed room with the union jack bedsheets. "If ya need anything, and I mean ANYTHING, I'll be next door reading some UsUk doujinshis... I mean on my laptop on ... Don't destroy too much, okay?"

"Sure, love," he said groggily stumbling to his new bed and I'm pretty sure he fell asleep before his head touch the pillow. Well, looks like I don't have to worry. Carefully I shut the door and sprinted down the hall past my room and through the open third floor window. In midair as I felt the air whoosh against my skin and transformed into my cat form as I have done a thousand times before. I landed on my pure black paws and toke off running. To anyone watching I would be only a midnight streak of black zooming by. I had some adventures to plan for my new cat toy. The only thing to do is figure out the most fun way for him to find out what I am. What fun! But then again, maybe It would be better to let him find out for himself. Which ever is fine with me. I'm just happy not to be alone anymore.


	3. Chapter 2- Twin

Wow, I haven't updated in soooooooo long. Well, I'm still here, I guess.

Still own nothing.

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I raced inbetween trees, jumping over fallen trunks and large rocks in my way. Eventually though, I did make it to my destination. The dense green came way to an open field with training dummies, a few tire swings set to the side, and a treehouse used kinda like a shed. Since running as a cat, I scaled the tree with a swing attached and sat on its tallest branch. This was my favorite spot to rest and just think. It wasn't really anything special, but it held a connection to me.

A slight rustle caught my attention. I stand up perfectly balanced and stand as still as can be, trying to catch that sound again. After a moment I hear it again though it was softer this time. It came from underneath me. I crouched low peering over the edge of the branch. Nothing was there, or at least, nothing I could see. The rustling was heard again but this time it was above me.

"AAAKEMIII!" I hear a yell from above scream jumping down on me. I screamed as another body hit mine. It was my idiot twim brother.

"What do you want, Nathin!" I glared at him as I attempted to pry him off of me. He always seemed to pop up at the most awful time, and he always managed to piss me off while doing it. That jerk.

"Do I need a reason to come visit my dear, sweet, little sister?" He said finally climbing off of me but still sitting too close. At least I can actually get a good look at him now. It's been awhile since the last time I saw him. He pretty much looked like an exact copy of me expect for the eyes. His fur was the same shade of pitch black, but both his eyes shined a perfect baby blue. Don't ask me how one twin got two perfectly fine blue eyes while the other got messed up green and red eyes. I have no idea.

"You're only older by five minutes!" I snarled. I can't take him crap right now. I have a new toy to play with back home. Without saying another word, I jumped straight down to the ground and toke off back to the house. Unfortunatley for me, my annoying brother wasn't going to give up that easily.

"Where are you going?! I only wanted to see how you were doing. I have to take care of my little sister now, don't I?" he yelled while running up behind me. He was catching up quickly, and we were approuching the house soon.

"Yeah, SUUUUUUUURE! What you didn't have time to watch over me for the last 50 years?!" I yelled back, "Or did you little siren girlfriend finally break up with you?!"

"No, and she's not a siren! She's a mermaid! And I know you know that and you just don't like her!"

I could see the house now. I need to lose him before I get there. He would flip out if he sees my new toy. He'd probably destroy him before I even have a chance to play. Can't let that happen.

I take a sharp right and hear Nathin trip over himself trying to catch up. Then I jumped into the trees now leaping from tree to tree every now and then falling back to the ground trying to lose him. After about five minutes or so repeating this, I'm cofident I've lost him so I start heading back home. Surely England is awake by now with no doubt an awful hangover. I'll be sure to bring up some asprin or something on way up.

After I had gotten the stuff I skipped up the steps once again in my human form. Humming a soft tune under my breath I opened my guest's door. The lights were out but that didn't really matter. I could see just fine so I crept up to the bed in the center of the room. A single figure was outlined under the blankets. I sighed relizing he really hadn't woken up yet. I left the water and asprin on the bedside table and queitly shut the door behide me on my way out. This toy is taking so long to wake up. He's just lucky I'm too tired to annoy him right now. I seriously need a cat nap. As I yawn and stretch out as I walk over to my room. I guess I'll just have to wait. Oh well, it's still nice to know someone else is here even if they are only a "unit."


	4. Chapter 3- Rude Awakening

Hola, mis lectores. ¿Cómo estuvo tu día? Vamos en el relato.

Still don't own anything :/

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When I woke up I couldn't tell if it was my nap was ten minutes or several hours. The blinds were drawn shut, and no light came through the window. I listened intently for a moment before getting up to check on England. You know what? I don't like calling him that. Iggy sounds better. IGGY IT IS! He's mine anyways. It shouldn't matter what I call him.

I pranced all the way to his room, shaking off the last bit of tiredness before practically kicking down the door.

"**WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD! GOOD MORNING STAR SHINE, THE EARTH SAYS HELLO!**" I yell jumping onto the body under the covers with all my body weight which isn't that much anyways. The screaming coming from underneath me told me I had succeeded at waking him up.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you!" I hear the muffled yell from under the covers.

"Many things, my dear Watson. Many. Things." I say climbing down back onto the carpeted floors.

Than out popped a messy, blonde, and bed-headed man out from the covers. His enormous eyebrows were set in an enraged scowl that I just brushed off. He'll get used to my shenanigans. Hopefully, that is. Until then I should probably get used to that look that he's giving me now. Speaking of current affairs, I wonder if he's hungry.

"You hungry?" I ask putting my hands behind my back and rocking on my heels. He gives me a strange look and answers.

"No, I'm not Hungary. I am the United Kingdom of Great Britain, but you, child, may call me England," he says straightening up and getting out of bed also.

I giggle hysterically for awhile as I thank my luck for getting such an interesting character first. During all of this Iggy just stares at me seemingly growing more and more angry. Finally, I calm down and correct him.

"No, no, no, I mean do you want to eat?" I corrected shaking my head. His face grows red and he looks away.

"Oh, oh course! Yes, something to eat would be splendid right now. Would you like me to cook something for you? I'll have you know, I make the best scones!" he declares, getting over the embarrassment.

"Great! Race you to the kitchen!"I shout before dashing out of the room and down the hallway. All I hear before taking my shortcut out the window is Iggy yelling after me.

"Wait! I have no idea where that is!"

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Sorry for such a short chapter, but I'm trying to get in the habit of writing and working on this and another idea I'm thinking of.(hint hint)

Any who! Hope you liked it. Please review! It really helps me fix stuff and make things better! Therefore, More reviews = Better content

Also, since my school is about to let out for the summer, I will have even MORE time to work *cough*procrastinate*cough* on this!


	5. Chapter 4- Varinka: Enter

Opps! Seems like I've kinda slacked off on this again. Darn my extreme laziness!

Oh well, let's head back to where we left off.

Still don't own Hetalia. :P

Thankfully, Iggy eventually caught up with me, and together we went down to the main floor. When Iggy set foot in the kitchen however, he immediately gagged and stepped back out.

"What the bloody hell died in there?!" he said covering his nose and mouth with his sleeve. His eyes were red and watering. I skipped past him and stuck my head in to check out if it was really that bad. Bad idea. I almost instantly flew back coughing and gagging. God, I couldn't remember the last time I smelt something that absolutely putrid. It completely tops all the strange smells and messes I have in my house, and that is saying a lot.

"When was the last time you cleaned up in there!" he said still covering his nose. Now that he mentions it, I don't actually remember _ever _cleaning the kitchen.

"Hahaha, weeeeell, that's a funny story. I don't actually think I have…" I say getting quieter and quieter as I talk. I hope my nervous laughing didn't give me away.

"Sweet Jesus! What have you been eating!?"

"I eat out a lot," I shrug. Then a absolutely brilliant idea pops into my head. "Speaking of eating out, why don't we do that now? I know this great café! Best hot chocolate ever, and there sweets will blow. Your. Mind." I spring up and hook his arm in mine and race to the front door slipping on some worn converse before speeding down the drive way towards the tow below.

After listening to grumpy gills Iggy screaming at me to let him go, and shouting if I've gone completely insane, we arrived to the café. It was tucked between an old fashion barber and pharmacy in an old strip of shops. The color was all brown and tan, but the double doors were a rich red. As we both went through them, a small bell rang above them. Inside it like walking into someone's own living room. Couches were everywhere and there was a table in the corner especially for laptop users.

I let go of his arm and go ahead up to the counter where my best friend stood taking a woman's order. I could tell she wasn't really listening, but she didn't stop writing the order anyway. She had this job so long she got really good at that trick. After the woman stepped off to the side to wait for her coffee, Iggy was suddenly beside me looking around.

"Varinka! Long time no see! How have you been?" I jumped over the counter to hug her and pick her up off the ground. She's always been really light. She looked startled after I put her down, but after a second she realized it was me.

Varinka and I have been friends ever since I moved her so many years ago. She isn't human obviously. She's a rusalka which I didn't even knew existed until she had to explain it to me. Unfortunately for you, I'm not don't explain things as well as her, so you're best bet is to go look it up. However, I'll give you the quickest and most brief summary I can. A rusalka is the soul of a young woman who had died in or near a river or a lake and came back to haunt that waterway. This undead rusalka is not invariably malevolent, and will be allowed to die in peace if her death is avenged. However, no one even knows Varinka's killer. Not even _she_ knows their face! So unfortunately for her, she's stuck in this world, but she has learned to adjust. . . mostly. Her pale almost translucent looking skin, her eyes that are completely green that shine with no visible pupil, and long bleached-colored hair with faded sea green tips make her stick out a bit. She still has trouble some morning to put on her special contacts. In fact, I was thinking about getting contacts to cover my red eye, but they always make my eyes scratchy and drive me crazy.

"Akemi, I have been well. Have you been well also?" she asks being her polite and quiet self as always. I loved that very soft Russian accent she couldn't shake no matter how long she lives here. Suddenly, she looks up sharply at Iggy with a questioning and concerned look directed at me. I wave my hand dismissively.

"That's just Iggy. My now tenant. Don't mind him,"

"Excuse me!" he says angerly. I sigh and decide to formally introduce them.

"Iggy, Varinka. Varinka, Iggy. Happy now?" He straightens up and extends his hand towards Varinka. She just stares at it for a second not sure what he was doing until finally she understood. She happily takes his hand and shakes it bowing her head a bit.

"My name is not 'Iggy.' You may call me Arthur. Arthur Kirkland," he says so "gentleman-like" BLUH!

"Yeah, whatever. Varinka! I want a hot chocolate!" I say shoving him away which was difficult considering I had to reach over the counter. Varinka sighed and shook her head than pointed to the back room.

"We have hot chocolate mix in back room. You can make it yourself, da?" I nod my head furiously before rushing off to the king of all hot dairy products.

~~Varinka's POV~~

This man is strange. I can feel it in my bones, but I can't put my finger on it. I stare at this strange man, and I can see him look around unconformable. Finally, he speaks.

"So I take it you and Akemi have been chums for long time?" he practically asks.

I nod my head. " You have no idea." he looks at me funny, but at that moment Akemi comes crashing back into the scene.

"I FOUND IT!" she yells jumps straight over the counter onto Arthur sending them both to the ground nearly spilling the mug of dark brown liquid she was holding. "I'll show you my favorite sofa. Come on!" she says dragging Arthur off his bottom and practically dragging him off to her usual corner of the cafe. He looks at me with almost a shout for help. I giggle and tell him one last thing before going back to work.

"Good luck. You'll need it."

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And there you go. Chapter 4, the first chapter I didn't just write all in one session. Hope you like it ^.^


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